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A "tongue in cheek" guide to holiday drinking Everyone speaks English but if they don't understand you the first time, speak louder. The Chemist (FARMACIA) opposite Veronicas is open 24 hours a day 7 days a week and they sell everything from painkillers (for when you drink too much) to crutches (for when you drink way too much and fall down the stairs). The main hospital is known as the "Green Clinic" - ask the taxi driver for "clinica verde". There is also an emergency room at the clinic in San Eugenio, but if they don't put you on a drip as soon as you walk in (whatever is wrong with you), you'll probably be the first. Spirits are poured straight from the bottle and the average measure is equivalent to a treble in the UK. Local spirits, while cheaper, can give you a serious headache in the morning. Draught beer is cheaper but can upset the digestive system, to put it mildly. Stick to bottles if you are prone to stomach upsets. On the first night you arrive, write the name of where you are staying somewhere you won't lose it (on your arm, perhaps) because the taxi driver won't be able to find "the apartments next to a big blue crane"!! Lots of bars have British TV, British beer & British food, so if you are really careful you can actually forget that travelled 2000 miles to go out and get drunk. Bring a camera as you probably won't remember much about your holiday. Second thoughts, you'll probably put it down and forget where you left it.
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